Einstein's carnal legacy

31/03/2008 - 21:10 von hanson | Report spam
API/UPI -- Ulm's city news service.
Ulmer Stadtzeitung -- By Karl Peter Stachel, 04-01-2008.

***** Einstein's Foreskin Found. *****

Under special arrangements with Ulm's urban renewal and
redevelopment agency, German archeologists from the University
of Munich were granted a few days for archeological investigations
on the Ulmer Bahnhofstrasse, prior to the begin of demolition
activities by city construction crews.

There, in Einstein's house of birth on Bahnhofstrasse 20, in Ulm,
they discovered behind an alcove an old, sealed perfume bottle,
filled with formalin and labeled as "Von userem liebsten Albertle,
14. Màrz 1879" (From our dearest Baby Albert).
It turned out that the small, grayish lump within the bottle was originally
Einstein's foreskin and was kept there on the wishes of his mother.

The find was hailed as very significant by Einstein's disciples to
whom this artifact appears to be as dear as the Dead Sea scrolls
are to Christianity.

The current Ulmer Moel, Ariel Meir-Cohn, was consulted and he
asserted that the foreskin could have been indeed a sentimental
keep sake by Einstein's parents, in memory of their Baby Albert's
circumcision on 14 March, 1879 .

To verify, the descendents of the then operative Moel in charge, circa
1879, Baruch Messerman, were located and interviewed by local TV
and the investigations are continuing into this just breaking story. The
Messermans said that they would check their family records at home
and in their synagogue for further clues.

Meanwhile, Einstein's penile residue was flown to McMaster in the USA
who maintains a "brain bank" where Einstein's brain has been preserved
in a jar. Einstein's pickled brain and his foreskin and will undergo
DNA analysis to see whether the two have something in common.

Berkley, CA. Herald Clarion wire dispatch 04-01-2008

Referring to the above "Ulm" item the respected Herald Clarion will
report in tomorrow's edition that researchers from the LaVey Institute for
Advanced Optics have made holographic records of more than 2 doz.
video/audio apparitions of Einstein's ghostly appearance in the locale
where his pickled brain and his foreskin do reside these days. The
2 lead scientists, Rabbinical Professor Stickel Gruber and Professor
Dzhugashvili are in disagreement whether the phenomena occurred
due to optical Faraday effects of irreducible tensorials in R(3) of the
longitudinal ghost fields of free space electromagnetism or from gauge
fixing of the spinor fields that lead naturally to the emergence of the
complimentary gauge ghost fields. -- Leaving such trivial matters aside,
phenomenologically interesting is the fact that Dr. Einstein in his ghostly
encore apparently bitterly complained that his two carnal residues were
kept in the same box. "Too close together", he said. The dearly departed
objected in these ghost field records that he finds this intimate proximity
of his brain and foreskin to be unacceptable and un-kosher, as it may
lead to the wrong impression and faulty conclusion that he once was a
dick-head or a schmuck face.

Lesen sie die antworten

#1 Eric Gisse
31/03/2008 - 21:48 | Warnen spam
On Mar 31, 11:10 am, "hanson" wrote:
API/UPI    --       Ulm's city news service.
Ulmer Stadtzeitung --  By Karl Peter Stachel, 04-01-2008.


I can't tell - did you fall for it because of your anti-Einstein
tendencies, or did you expect us to fall for it? Or both?

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